Here is a passage from PNN and the Kevinstrophorer's Stone
***
"Shall we have a look around?" PNN suggested, wanting to warm up his octopus ass-looking feet.
"Careful not to bump into anyone," said El Capitan nervously, and they set off around the edge of the dance floor. They passed a group of gloomy nuns, whom where in the middle of a satanic worshiping ritual, directed at the once alive, Kevindoore, the founder of Kevinwartz, the magical high school for octopus ass-looking persons. Their attention was not though caught by the exploring companions that just managed to slip through their wicked act of religion unnoticed.
In the next room PNN and El Capitan discovered, they saw a unique bunch of specimen. A ragged man wearing chains, the Fat Friar, and a cheerful Slotherin ghost, who was talking to a knight with an arrow sticking out of his forehead, were all gathered in the room. PNN wasn't surprised to see Chaz, an ugly as hell Social Justice Warrior, staring the Slotherin ghost down in a gut-busting stare contest. Covered in bloodstains, and unable to get a word from his mouth, El Capitan decided not to laugh at the Chaz creature's leafy colored, green hair, reaching all the way down to his waist.
PNN knew that El Capitan hated these Berny Sanders sympathizers and stepped in before El Capitan could take his swing at the missformed Chaz, that actually looked more like his mom, even though him actually being a male.
"Oh, no," said PNN, stopping abruptly. "Turn back, turn back, You don't want to smack him."
"Why?" said El Capitan as they backtracked quickly.
"He haunts one of the toilets in the girls' bathroom on the first floor," said PNN.
"He haunts a toilet?"
"Yes. It's been out-of-order all year because He keeps having tantrums and flooding the place. I never went in there anyway if I could avoid it; it's awful trying to have a pee with him wailing at you -"
"Look, food!" said El Capitan.
On the other side of the dungeon was a long table, also covered in black velvet. They approached it eagerly but next moment had stopped in their tracks, horrified. The smell was quite disgusting. Large, rotten fish were laid on handsome silver platters; cakes, burned charcoal-black, were heaped on salvers; there was a great maggoty haggis, a slab of cheese covered in furry green mold and, in pride of place, an enormous gray cake in the shape of a tombstone, with tar-like icing forming the words, Kevin is our overlord, Bush did 9/11
The companions were taken aback by this, of course, and then they saw a ghost approaching the table, walking weirdly, almost drunkenly.
El Capitan and PNN watched, amazed, as a portly ghost approached the table, crouched low, and walked through it, his mouth held wide so that it passed through one of the stinking salmon.
"Can you taste it if you walk though it?" PNN asked him.
"Almost," said the ghost sadly, and then drifted away.
"I expect they've let it rot to give it a stronger flavor," said El Capitan knowledgeably, pinching his nose and leaning closer to look at the putrid haggis.
"Can we move? I feel sick," said PNN.
"Stop whining!", responded El Capitan promptly as he leaned closer to inspect this haggle.
They had barely turned around, however, when a little man swooped suddenly from under the table and came to a halt in midair before them.
"Hello, Skiffa," said El Capitan cautiously.
Unlike the ghosts around them, Skiffa the Donator-Poltergeist was the very reverse of pale and transparent. She was wearing a bright orange party hat, a revolving bow tie, and a broad grin on her wide, wicked face.
"Nibbles?" she said sweetly, offering them a bowl of peanuts covered in fungus.
"No thanks," said PNN.
"Heard you talking about poor Chaz," said Skiffa, her eyes dancing. "Rude you was about poor Chaz." She took a deep breath and bellowed, "OY! CHAZ!"
"Oh, no, Skiffa, don't tell him that I wanted to hit him, he'll be really upset," El Capitan whispered frantically. "I didn't mean it, I don't mind him - er, hello, Chaz."
The squat ghost of a trans-man had glided over him. He had the glummest face El Capitan had ever seen.
"What?" He said sulkily.
"How are you, Chaz?" said El Capitan in a falsely bright voice. "It's nice to see you out of the toilet."
Chaz sniffed.
"El Capitan was just talking shit about you -" said Skiffa slyly in Chaz's ear.
Having to come up with an excuse, "Just saying - saying - how nice you look tonight," El Capitan saying, glaring at Skiffa.
Chaz eyed El Capitan suspiciously.
"You're making fun of me," she said, big tears welling rapidly in her small eyes.
"No - honestly - didn't I just say how nice Chaz's looking?" said El Capitan, nudging PNN painfully in the ribs.
"Yes, ehh, I mean, You're so nice - beautiful!", PNN unconvincingly murmured.
Chaz believed them, somehow, and their adventure to recover the Kevinstrophorer's Stone, continued.
***
This was just one paragraph, I'm soon finishing this novel and you can buy it off of Amazon then.
Cheers!
//El Capitan
