Happy b-day! 
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Bday is happ very yes.
Is bday nice day happy.
Happy day day magget
God damn, I love paper like im michael scott
Off to America
won’t be on for a few weeks. Can’t enjoy the lower ping
We miss you Michael Jackson, RIP
To the guy who invented zero..... Thanks for nothing.
Little insecure?
I told my girlfriend her eyebrows were painted on a little high.
She seemed surprised.
John Cena walks into a school for the blind..... "You can't see me! You can't see me!...."
"Stop crying"
2 cupcakes are sat in the oven being baked. One says to the other "you come here often" and the other says "Holy fuck a talking muffin".
My friend came over to me and said, "What rhymes with orange" and I said "No it doesn't"
I went to the bank today, and this old women asked me too check her balance.
So I pushed her over. Don't know what all the ruckus is about.
I couldn't work out why the baseball kept on getting bigger?
Then it hit me!
Happy Valentines day to all you love birds out there. May you enjoy your right hand a free pornhub premium gamers. I got an earful for playing tf2 today but worth it.
New guitar will finally be transported to my uni accommodation this week I am way excited.
Is it called a spork, or a fopoon?
Happy birthday @PNN
Happy Holidays My Friend -
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